


Wish I were (Heather)

by potatolesbian



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Feelings, Kissing, M/M, Moving On, Sugawara Koushi-centric, sawamura daichi is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatolesbian/pseuds/potatolesbian
Summary: Why would you ever kiss me?I'm not even half as pretty
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru & Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi & Sugawara Koushi, one sided oisuga
Comments: 13
Kudos: 71





	Wish I were (Heather)

**I still remember**

**Third of December**

**Me in your sweater**

“I told you it was going to be cold out today,” Oikawa said as Suga had sneezed for the fifth time. They were in Oikawa’s house together, talking and hanging out. 

After their practice match with Seijoh, both the third years of Karasuno and Seijoh unexpectedly started getting along. Especially Oikawa and Suga. Well, it  _ was _ because of Oikawa and Suga that the third years of Karasuno and Seijoh started hanging out together. Oikawa having some sort of interest in Suga that even he didn’t understand. Him randomly approaching Suga after the practice match which alarmed both Kageyama and Hinata but he didn’t care. They talked, exchanged numbers, started texting and then hanging out a lot. They surprisingly got along really well. Although Suga found Oikawa’s sudden interest in him really weird, he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind at all. Soon they somehow managed to bring in the Iwaizumi and Daichi as well. Which was a bit awkward at first considering the fact that the only people that really talked to each other were Oikawa and Sugawara themselves. But by the second and third meeting, everyone had gotten comfortable with each other’s company. Oikawa and Sugawara, on the other hand, they were on a whole another level. They hung out on weekends and texted each other every day. Stayed up at night talking and talking. More than just volleyball, they talked about how their school was, what they liked to do, the crazy thing that happened, everything. 

Now it was another weekend of them hanging out. They decided to hang out in Oikawa’s house. 3rd December, so it was pretty cold outside and they didn’t want to go anywhere else. They were staying underneath Oikawa’s blanket watching Spirited Away. And then Suga sneezed again, “I thought your room would be warmer than this!” he said as snuggled deeper into the blanket. 

“Oh, so it’s my fault now,” Oikawa said

“Yes.”

“Even though I told you to wear something else underneath the coat than just a plain t-shirt so you wouldn’t be cold.”

“...Yes.”

Oikawa sighed, paused the movie and then got up from his bed. To which Suga whined and said, “No wait come back! It’s cold.”

“I’ll be back, just wait a sec,” Oikawa replied as he went to his closet. He came out with a navy sweater which threw at Suga. 

“I don’t want you to get sick, wear that.” 

Suga looked at the sweater, “Won’t this a little big for me?”

Oikawa simply shrugged and went back to his bed, “I mean it’s better than being cold and sneezing 5 times per hour.” Suga playfully punched Oikawa’s shoulder and wore his sweater. And as expected, it was a little big on him but not to the point where he was drowning in it. Oikawa looked at him and chuckled, to which Suga replied, “What’s funny?” “Nothing you just look cute.”

Suga was silent as his cheeks flushed. He doesn’t know if Oikawa didn’t notice or chose to ignore it but then all Oikawa said was, “Anyways let’s continue.” And unpaused the movie.

**You said it looked better**

**On me, than it did you**

“Do you  _ have _ to leave this soon?” Oikawa whined as Suga started putting on his shoes. Suga looked back at him and said, “It’s 5.”   
“So?”

“It’s gonna get dark soon.”

“You’re always welcome to stay here you know.”

Suga paused at the thought. Would it be a bad idea? He gave it a second thought.  _ No not today.  _ “Sorry Oikawa but my mom will kill me if I don’t come home but next time I’ll keep that in mind.”

Oikawa sighed, “Fine…”

Suga wore his shoes and was going to wear his coat and then he realized he was still wearing the sweater, “Oh yeah, here.” He started taking off the sweater before Oikawa stopped him, “Nah you can keep it.”

Suga stopped trying to take off the sweater, “What?”

“Yeah I mean it’s probably colder outside so you wouldn’t survive with just a t-shirt and a coat. And plus,” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck, “It looks better on you than it did on me anyway.”

Suga was blushing again but this time he really didn’t want Oikawa to notice so he quickly said, “Okay just letting you know I’m stealing this then!”

“You can’t steal something that’s already a gift.” Oikawa winked.

Suga scoffed, “Okay then it’s mine.”

“No wait I’ll still be needing that!”

“But you said it looks better on me!”

“I still stand by that statement.”

Suga had then bid his byes and left.

**Only if you knew**

**How much I liked you**

Sugawara had reached home, ate his dinner and is now currently staring at his ceiling. He liked Oikawa, he really did. He liked meeting him every Saturday whether it is with or without their other friends. He liked staying home or going out to different places with him. Every second with him makes him feel like he’s in a constant euphoria. He does certain things that make Suga heart beat faster. They could be small things like remembering what his favourite book was or big things like clinging on to him when they reached the scary parts of a horror movie. Either way, Suga knew. Suga knew he likes him a lot. 

He wasn’t sure if Oikawa liked him back though. He tried looking for all the signs if there were any. 

_ Does his heart beat faster when I cuddle him? Does he get flustered when I compliment him? Is he genuinely flirting with me or is he just joking around? _

He usually doesn’t think too deep into it until one day Oikawa himself said, “I actually like someone.”

Suga just stared for a bit and then asked, “Who?”

“I can’t say who but yeah I thought you should know, since...we’re friends and all.” 

And till this day he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wondered who it was, every now and then thinking  _ Is it me? _

_ It can’t be. _

_ But can it? _

It was eating him up. He wishes Oikawa would just tell him and get it over with. He puts a pillow on his face and groans into it.  _ So frustrating _ . He thinks.

He stands on a sitting position on his bed and looks at the navy sweater he had folded nicely next to his school uniform. He got up and went towards it. Holding it up and staring at it for a bit before deciding to wear it.  _ This feels really nice.  _ He got a whiff of the smell when he wore it.  _ Expensive cologne...I mean not that surprising from him. _

He went back to his bed and soon he fell asleep with Oikawa’s sweater on.

**But I watched your eyes, as they**

**Walk by**

**What a sight for sore eyes**

Part of him understands why Oikawa won’t just tell him who it was. 

“You can’t just tell me you like someone and then just not tell me who it is!”

“No! The thing is I want to tell you! I really do but it’s just...well...I’m just confused really I don’t know if I like them because they’re my friend or I like them romantically and I just ugh.”

And he gets it. He gets the frustration. Because he felt like with Oikawa in the beginning. He knows well that it’s best for Oikawa to figure it out on his own than to just push him. So he lets it go.

“It’s okay. I get it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” Suga looks down and fiddles with fingers, “So tell me more about this person.”

**Brighter than a**

**Blue Sky**

**They’ve got you**

**Mesmerized**

Whoever the person was, has definitely gotten Oikawa lovesick. The way he talked about them like they’ve hung the stars and moon for him. The way his face goes red when talking about him and the way he gets embarrassed from time to time while talking about them. Suga doesn’t say it but he’s pretty sure Oikawa is in love with them.

Still, that didn’t stop him from wondering who they were. 

_ Are they a boy or a girl? _

_ Do they play volleyball as well or are they in another club? _

_ Are they his teammate? _

And that one thought he always pushed in the back of his mind. Trying not to think about it.

_ Is that person me? _

_ Is it me? _

_ Can it be me? _

He always pushed those thoughts away by reminding himself.

_ No. _

_ It can’t be me. _

_ It will never be me. _

**While I die**

Another weekend came by. This time again in Oikawa’s house cause it’s still cold out.

“Oh! You’re wearing that sweater again!”

Suga looked down as Oikawa pointed out the sweater.

“I might or might not have ended up liking the sweater.” He replied.

“Sure, ‘ _ might or might not _ ’’

Suga simply chuckled at his behaviour. 

And as usual, they went up to his room and cuddled as they watched a movie.

Suga’s attention, on the other hand, had already diverted from the movie. Other times he let it go.  _ Don’t think about it. Don’t push him.  _ But at the moment, he doesn’t know what got to him. But he tears his eyes away from the TV and looks at Oikawa instead, who was still focused on the movie. He wants to know.  _ Is it me? Is it someone else? _

Oikawa notices him staring, “I know I’m pretty but is there a reason you’re staring.”

Suga doesn’t say anything for a while and then, “I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“The person that you like…”

“...”

“...”

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

Suga then sits up. 

“Suga-chan?”

Suga doesn’t say anything for a while.

“Listen I--”

“You don’t have to tell me who it is.”

“Suga-chan…”

“Because as much as it is eating me up...I guess...the fact that I’m carrying around all these feelings are eating me up more…”

“Suga--”

“I don’t know, I just, I don’t know how to put it into words.”

“...”

Suga moves closer to Oikawa and stares at him intensely. “Please stop me if you have to.”

Suga slowly moves closer. Oikawa makes no movement.

_ What am I doing? _

_ Why am I doing this now? _

_ Stop it! _ _   
_ _ You’ll just ruin it. _

Their foreheads touch. Suga pauses. Giving Oikawa enough time to pull away. He doesn’t.

_ Is it me? _

_ Is it me? _

_ Is it me? _

And then. Their lips touch.

Suga gives him soft kisses while he feels his own heart beating faster. 

Oikawa still doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t kiss him back.

_ It’s not me… _

And then suddenly Oikawa grabs him and deepens the kiss. Suga doesn’t know what to think anymore. He feels dizzy. He wants more.

_ It’s me? _

_ It’s me... _

_ It is me _

Oikawa pushes Suga down the bed, pinning him down. He keeps kissing him. Suga feels like he’s reached another state of euphoria. He feels all kinds of feeling being rushed past him.

_ It’s me. _

_ It’s me. _

_ It’s-- _

And then Oikawa suddenly pulls away from him.

“I’m sorry!” He says suddenly, looking guilty and panic at the same time, “It’s not you that I like!”

_ Oh _

“It’s Iwa-chan.”

_ It’s not me _

**Why would you ever kiss me?**

**I’m not even half as pretty**

Sugawara just lied there looking up at Oikawa who was now rambling and trying to explain himself. Suga had tuned him out, his mind was fogged with his own thoughts.

_ It’s not me _

_ It’s not me _

_ It’s not… _

_ … _

_ If it’s not me… _

_ Then why… _

Suga suddenly got up, pushed Oikawa off and got out of the bed. Oikawa was now quite and looking at Suga wide-eyed. There was a look of pity but Suga chose to ignore that.

“Suga-chan…” Oikawa said but nothing came after that.

So Suga decided to talk, “I just-- I don’t-- Why did you--” He put his hands on his face out of frustration as he was trying to sort out his jumbled thoughts to form a proper sentence. Oikawa just stared at Suga, waiting for him to continue.

Suga put his hands down and said, “Why did you kiss me back?! Why didn’t you push me away?! Why did you…” His voices started to crack, “Why wasn’t it me?” 

Oikawa was shocked with the last part not knowing what to say.

“I don’t know.”

Tears of frustration started to well up on Suga’s eyes. He turned on his heel and just ran out of Oikawa’s room and towards the front door. Oikawa immediately started moving as well and went after Suga. But since Suga was faster and already had a head start, he missed him. Suga heard him call his name as he ran from. He running, running and running even though he knows Oikawa wasn’t even following after him at this point. But still, he just wanted out.

**You gave him your sweater**

**It’s just polyester**

As Suga stopped running to catch his breath he looked down on himself and realized.

_ Shit _ .

He was still wearing the navy sweater. Not wanting to go back, not wanting to face Oikawa, he decided to move forward and go home. Once he reached home, he immediately went to his room and took off the sweater. He got another whiff of Oikawa’s cologne. He wants to cry. He wants to sleep. He wants to take back everything that happened today. He wishes he never even took his chance. He doesn’t want to think.

He put the sweater on his chair and changed his clothes. He laid on his bed as he started drifting off to sleep. He wants to forget. He really wants to forget.

The next thing he knew he woke up in darkness with the moon shining through his window, being the only source of light. He picked up his phone and turned it on, the light immediately blinding him as looked at the time. 2:41 AM. As he looked at the time he noticed all the text notification he got. All from Oikawa. Around 25 different messages and 9 missed calls. 

_ Did I really sleep through all this? _

He opened the messages. As expected the first one was an apology.

**From:** **_Oikawa <3_ **

**_Suga-chan! I am really sorry. I just really didn’t know. I knew I should’ve pushed you away and not kiss you back. Please just call me back._ **

To sum up, the rest of the texts were pretty much the same. Some were a little different like

**_We’re still friends, right? Please tell me this doesn’t change anything._ **

And the one that really hurt his heart.

**_I don’t want to lose you._ **

He sighed. He felt like an asshole for just leaving. But he still didn’t want to face him. It was now 2:57 AM. Oikawa was probably asleep by now but he still typed it out.

**To:** **_Oikawa <3_ **

**_Don’t apology. If anything I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I just didn’t know how to react at the moment. Anyways, I could’ve handled it better. It’s my fault, I’m not mad at you :)_ **

**But you like him better**

**_But give me some time, please._ **

And he hit send.

**Wish I were…**

  
  


Out of nowhere, Daichi came up to Suga wanting to meet up with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. “I don’t know, I felt like it’s been long since we saw them. I think it would be nice to meet up before the spring tournament,” he said. He hadn’t told Daichi that he had developed feelings for Oikawa let alone tell him about what happened. He was determined to forget about it and pretended it never happened. Although the text conversation he and Oikawa have these days say otherwise. So in order to not raise suspicion, he agreed. 

He was ready to go out, wearing the warmest clothes he could find. He picked up the navy sweater and put it in his bag. As he was walking towards the place they all decided to meet, he saw Oikawa already standing there, looking at his phone and waiting. As he got closer Oikawa noticed him and the moment Oikawa looked at him, he froze. His heart was beating fast again, he doesn’t like that Oikawa still has that much effect on him. He takes in a deep breath and finally walks and stands next to him.

“Hi.” He said.

“Hi,” Oikawa responded.

And then silence. It was awkward. It was painful. Suga hated it. But he knew, he is in no place to complain. He caused this.  _ It was my fault anyway. _

He suddenly remembered.  _ The sweater.  _ He opens his bag and Oikawa looks at him with a curious look. He knows it won’t decrease the tension between them but still, he wanted to let go as much as he could. So he gave back the sweater.

“Here.”

“Hm?”

“Take it, I forgot to give it back last time.”

“Oh…” Oikawa slowly takes back the sweater, “Will you be okay? Aren’t you--”

Suga had cut him off by unzipping his jacket and showing the other sweater he was wearing.

“Oh okay…” Is the only thing Oikawa can say.

And again silence.

Suga wanted to stay like that but then Oikawa said, “So...About last time…”

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Suga--”

“Oikawa please.”

Oikawa stopped at the sound of Suga’s voice. Suga was tired, he really didn’t want to do this. He felt a bit terrible though, he knew Oikawa was trying. He really did.  _ It’s not even his fault, it was all me. I did this to myself. _

Just to break the silence, he then said, “Daichi doesn’t know what happened in case you’re wondering.”

Oikawa looked at him with the sudden statement and then said, “Neither does Iwa-chan, actually.”

“You should try.”

“What?”

“With Iwaizumi. He might actually like you back.”

“Suga-chan…:

“I’m saying this as a friend.”

**Watch as he stands with him**

**Holding your hand**

Daichi and Iwaizumi had joined them later on. All of them were pretty much-chatting things away and just generally having a good time. Suga and Oikawa both had a silent agreement that they wouldn’t say or do anything that would ruin the moment or make things awkward. And so far it seemed like it was working. Throughout their time, it seemed like at least Daichi and Iwaizumi were enjoying themselves which was what Suga and Oikawa wanted. However, there are times where Suga glances at Oikawa and Iwaizumi and sees the sparks between them. The way they talk, the way they look at each other, how compatible they were, how good they were for each other. 

The way Oikawa teases him and how Iwaizumi responds.

The way Suga can see Oikawa subtly reaching out to Iwaizumi. 

**Put your arm his shoulder,**

**Now I’m getting colder**

By the end of it, they all said goodbye as Oikawa walked with Iwaizumi and Suga walked with Daichi. Suga looks back one more time at Oikawa and Iwaizumi. And he finally sees it.

He sees how much it would make sense for them to be together.

How much they balance each other.

“You okay?” Daichi suddenly asks, snapping Suga out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“It’s just you were silent for a while.”

Suga gives a reassuring smile. “I’m okay.”

“Okay then,” Daichi continues, “Today was nice.”

“Yeah it was.”

**But how can I hate him?**

**He’s such an angel**

The worst thing is that Iwaizumi isn’t a bad person. The first time he met him, he thought he was a very respectable and charming man and he  _ knew _ Iwaizumi is pretty good for Oikawa. Scratch that. He was  _ perfect  _ for him. He knew how much their relationship meant to Oikawa and how they always got each other’s back and how reliable Iwaizumi is. It made a lot of sense to Suga that if there was anyone that Oikawa would fall for, it would be Iwaizumi. 

But despite knowing these things.

_ It wasn’t you. _

It still hurt.

_ It was him. Why him? _

And he still felt bitterness spreading over his body.

**But then again**

**Kind of wish he was dead**

So he does what he always does.

_ Why not me? _

He tries his best to push those bitter feelings away and let go.

**As he walks by,**

**What a sight for sore eyes**

**Brighter than the blue sky**

Suga has often found himself comparing himself with Iwaizumi. He knows he shouldn’t. That it would make his own feeling way worse, but he couldn’t help himself. He was at home now, starting at his room’s ceiling. Listing all of the things Iwaizumi has that he doesn’t.

_ He is pretty responsible, _

_ Probably even a good vice-captain. _

_ He’s also the ace and is part of the regular team. _

_ Oikawa has mentioned that Seijoh can rely on him. _

_ Not only that but he’s also a pretty senpai and teammate. _

_ He also has a pretty good build. _

Once he started listing it down he couldn’t stop.

_ He’s probably way better than me in a lot of things. _

_ It makes for Oikawa to like him.  _

_ It makes so much sense. _

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He just couldn’t. Even when he started clutching his pillow while tears started falling from his eyes.

**He’s got you**

**Mesmerized**

_ I can see why it’s him… _

_ It’s not me. _

**While I die**

_ It was never me. _

**Why would you ever kiss me?**

**I’m not even half as pretty**

From there on Suga had planned on forgetting about the whole thing completely. Besides he has got bigger things to worry about like the upcoming Spring Interhigh that they practised really hard for. If not that then he has school work that he needs to catch up to. There are plenty of other things to worry about than  _ this.  _ He made sure to keep himself busy at all times. He believes that if he just gives it some time then his feelings would somehow dissolve and it could be something to laugh about.

Unintentionally though, him and Oikawa were somewhat avoiding each other. They no longer come over for weekends. Long texts had gotten shorter and shorter. Suga now stays up at night watching shows or doing homework instead of talking to Oikawa. Suga felt bad about it sometimes, how much it had actually affected their friendship. But he knew him and Oikawa needed time to sort their feelings out. But for now, he’ll just push them down. 

Besides, he has Iwaizumi now.

He doesn’t need Suga at all.

**You gave him your sweater**

**It’s just polyester**

**But you like him better**

The last text he gets from Oikawa is.

**From:** **_Oikawa_ **

**_So the Semi-Finals are tomorrow_ **

**To:** **_Oikawa_ **

**_Yeah good luck_ **

**From:** **_Oikawa_ **

**_Yeah you too_ **

And that was it. 

**I wish I were…**

Suga watched as his teammates jumped and leapt at their victory. Their happiness was expected now that they won. Suga was helping his teammates get up as Hinata and Nishinoya got a bit too excited and leapt on them. As happy as he was, he still couldn’t help but look at Oikawa. He wasn’t crying or anything. He looked pretty pissed while saying something to Kageyama and really defeated when they lost but now he looked pretty calm. 

As they were packing their stuff and getting ready to go back, he kept thinking to himself,  _ I should at least go talk to him right? Yeah, I should. _

He tapped Daichi on the shoulder and told him he accidentally left something so he would go get that. He went to look for Oikawa. He wants to say something. Anything. Fix things between them. I mean how long was he going to wallow about it anyways.  _ It was stupid. It was really stupid.  _

While running around looking for Oikawa he found a bunch of the Seijoh members. Oikawa wasn’t with them. But that means he isn’t that far from them. He walked past the Seijoh members. Some of them glanced at him, most of them didn’t care.

He went a bit further and there he was. Oikawa. With Iwaizumi. They weren’t doing anything, they were literally just talking. But something as simple as that made his squeeze itself. It hurt. He doesn’t know why but it just  _ hurt.  _ He thought he was getting over it. He really thought he had managed to forget about it and move on. But no, all the feelings that he had been repressing were finally rising up all at once. The bitterness, the heartache, the hurt, everything was coming in all at once. He doesn’t know if he can take it. Scratch that he can’t take it. He needed to leave. They both didn’t seem to notice him anyways so he just turned around and walked away.

As he was walking back, he saw his bus waiting for him and just went inside without saying anything. He had sat beside Daichi, who asked, “Did you find what you need?”

“Yeah.”

Daichi noticed Suga’s sudden shift in his mood.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

After some time more than half of his teammates, including Daichi had passed out. He was going to pass out as well until his phone buzzed. He opened and saw a text from Oikawa.

**From:** **_Oikawa_ **

**_Congrats :) Now you better win the Finals as well!_ **

And then he could no longer suppress as he felt tears well upon his eyes. He covered his mouth as he sobbed silently. As didn’t want Daichi or any of his teammates waking up and seeing him. He finally lets it out. He lets it all out. 

**Oh I wish I were**

Daichi had noticed Suga’s tear-stained cheeks by the time they reached school. However, knowing Suga he knew it was best not to ask immediately while everyone else was still around. Suga looked pretty vulnerable at the moment as it is so drawing more attention would be the last thing he needs. Once they both were walking home together and it was just the two of them, he finally confronted Suga. Suga no longer bothered trying to hide it. The whole thing was eating him up and he just wanted to let it out. So he told everything to Daichi, from his feelings to the kiss till today. He didn’t notice he was crying again until Daichi started patting his back. He half expected Daichi to be mad but he was just understanding, Suga was thankful about that. It also felt nice to at least talk about considering how long he has been trying to keep this to himself. That night Daichi had called his parents and told them he was spending the night at Suga’s place. A bit last minute but they didn’t mind. 

They spend the entire night talking and comforting Suga. And for the first time, he feels light.

**Oh I wish I were**

Time had passed and before he knew it he had to prepare himself for college. He was walking down the streets of Miyagi and just wondering. Taking in the place one more time before he has to live it for the city. He stumbled upon a very familiar cafe. After pondering for a bit he decided to at least make a cup of coffee before going back home. He went inside and was hit with an aroma he can instantly recognize. Once inside he had to place his order and turn around. Only to see Oikawa.

Seeing Oikawa again after months wasn’t as awkward as he thought it would be. It was surprisingly way easier than expected. It was like meeting him all over again.

Oikawa mentioned that he was actually on a date and is now waiting for Iwaizumi. It stung a bit but Suga wasn’t as hurt as he used to be. 

They had pretty much tried to catch up with everything and what they were planning to do. Oikawa wants to major in Astrophysics and Suga in Japanese Literature. They were both going to Tokyo but will be in different colleges. Oikawa wants to continue volleyball even in college whereas Suga wasn’t sure. 

“I don’t know. It sounds a bit sappy but after having teammates like Karasuno I feel like I’ll be having a hard time adjusting to new ones.”

“No I see where you come from but I don’t want to let that stop me.”

After chatting for a bit they had been left with a comfortable silence. And then Oikawa said, “I need to talk to you about the kiss.”

**Why would you ever kiss me?**

“But we don’t have to unless you don’t want to!” Oikawa quickly followed up, not wanting to make Suga uncomfortable. Suga then gave a reassuring smile, “It’s okay, I think I’m done running away from the topic anyways.” Which was pretty much true. After talking with Daichi he was slowly getting over it. As time went on, he had pretty much forgotten about it. And even if it stung he knew he had to come to terms with it at one point or the other. “Anyways, what did you want to tell me?”

**I’m not even half as pretty**

Oikawa then took a deep breath and said, “Around that time, I sort of had feelings for you and Iwaizumi.” That wasn’t a statement that Suga was expecting but he still let him continue. “I know it sounds weird--”

“It’s not that weird.”

“Huh?”

“You know, to have feelings for two people at the same time.”

“Yeah I get that now, but at the time I was just so...confused? I don’t know, it was one of the reasons why I didn’t tell you who I liked in the first place. I was trying to figure my own feelings out.”

Suga didn’t say anything as he let Oikawa explain.

“When I kissed you I sort of just realized I guess...that I didn’t have feelings for you the same way I had for Iwaizumi…”

Suga felt a sharp pain on his chest but at the same time he felt like he could breathe. This was it. He was finally letting go. 

“You know I was just so hurt and confused at the moment, the only thing I could think of at the time was to just push you away. I know I should’ve talked about it but I guess I didn’t want to hear it. But now that I have.” He smiles, “It’s not as bad.”

**You gave him your sweater, it’s just polyester**

Suga looked out of the window and noticed Iwaizumi crossing the street. He was wearing the navy sweater. Suga said as he stood up, “Anyways looks like your date is here. I should get going.” 

“Suga--” Oikawa’s words were interrupted as Suga gave his shoulder a “light” punch.

“Ow! What was that for?!” Oikawa said while rubbing his shoulder.

Suga gave a mischievous smile, “In case you chicken out, I’m hoping that gives you some courage.” As he started walking out he said, “Text me about how it goes!” He saw Oikawa’s smile one more time.

**But you like him better**

As he walked out of the cafe he ran right into Iwaizumi. 

“Sugawara?” He said a bit startled but all Suga said, “Your boyfriend is already in there waiting for you.” He gave him a pat on the shoulder, “Enjoy your date!”

Iwaizumi looked confused but still said, “Thanks, I guess I’ll see you around.” As he went inside the cafe.

Suga sighed and started to walk away. There was a part of him that still hurt but he knew he was doing way better than last time. He wanted to move forward and just be happy for Oikawa. He wanted things to go back to normal where he could just joke around with Oikawa and be friends. He wanted to fix everything. So although his heart stung and although there were times he wished it was him instead, he knew he had to let go. And with each step he took, he was starting to let go.

**I wish I was...**

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I really love this song and wanted to write a fic out of it  
> Here is the song:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPUg7n8-M6o


End file.
